From different dead people, I changed my broken or wet clothes, at a run, if there were at least dry, a lot “safer” than my own. After what the telling of that mate, from the village, I was being careful not to freeze. Even then, when the senses of the extremities went away, I unshod and with the hat I was rubbing my feet, my thenar so it wont freeze. I was not worried in how much time I would get home, in my country, the purpose was to get there altogether with any flesh bones. I went the long way round the villages, the train stations and any populated place. If they would have caught me, they would have shot me for running away not for the weapon stealth, how they usually explained the death of many soldiers so that the occurrence of running away won’t be known. Harassing my being and usually “crossing” through were military operations have already been happening and most of the time under the darks protection; I was living only from the rest of food that I could find at the dead soldiers. The biggest problem was to pass from Moldavia to Ardeal. The frontiers were being watched by the “new” masters. It may be inconceivable but the wolves got me away, so that they won’t catch me. After almost three months I got in “my Transylvanian village”, in the beautiful way that Sugariu used to write. In here it was harder than I expected. Those (the Hungarian police) were daily passing through my house. I couldn’t come close to my family and don’t put them in danger. In a bank of Somes River from where people used to take out clay, an excavation formed out. I used to spend my days there and at night I got through one neighbors yard in our shed where I started to dig a cell. The land that came off I took it to the Somes River. This operation, of digging a shelter in our shed and only at night with my fears, it may have last for a while, but what I remember for sure was that through my skin you could notice all my bones, you could study anatomy. Ending the built of the cottage also concluded with my physical and psychical breakdown. I have fallen in a deep and long sleep. I still had days. Getting out of this half dead state, I hardly managed “to stand on my feet”. Now, I was not stressed anymore to clean off all the marks how I used to in that excavation from the Somes bank, so that in case someone will pass and notice traces of fresh cohabitation, that would betray my presence there. In the cellar from under the house I lived like an animal for more than a year. After strengthening I contacted the shepherds, knowing what kind of people they are, and after this through them and their people, through old helpmates, we made a group, which continuously looked to harass and sabotage the occupants, fact that allowed us the control of a bigger area and that was when I took contact with my family. I told you all this, I got with my story into your stories, because in our town used to be a monument on which was written: “Eternal blaze for the Soviet Army heroes that gave their life for the liberation of their country’s land”, I might have quoted wrong. Well, we all forget sometimes. The leaders of those days, from the war time, until September seventh 1944, subordinated all the Romanian armies to the Red Army.

In that case the Romanian Armies have been incorporated in the second and third Ukrainian line under Russian command and wearing as a name: “The Soviet Army” in comparison to the pure Red Army that belongs to the Russian federation. Maybe that some “personalities” from nowadays fell ashamed of “the activities” from then when they subordinated the Romanian Army to the Russians, the Soviet Armies, which in that time in our country were us, Romanians. Well, this “shameful” people have demolished “the famous” monument. Even if it was dedicated to other nations, on it was written that “it is built in the memory of those that gave their lives for the country’s liberation”, so not at all for the Russians praise as someone tried to inform us, and indeed he succeeded, destroying one heroes monument, unknown too, that have left and sacrificed everything – LIFE- to free this corner of the country. If somehow you believe I “went all round the circle”, forgive me because I myself forgave those that bargain this country, no matter with whom and when it happened”.
– There are interesting things, especially for those that have never known what suffering and humiliation means, but they only beat hard their “patriotic” chest, I see, walking our way for our guest’s name day celebration, Tomas. In front of a house, our guest gives us a sign for attention.
– Gentlemen, you retraced some stories of some facts that happened before this revolution, which, we have to recognize, brought us, truly, the so longed for freedom. Here, in this house, lives a family that, from what they have understood from freedom, has destroyed its entire life and fortune. He was one of the first discharged mine diggers, then, when everybody wanted to choose wheat from weed.
– But, how come? My friend interferes.
– I don’t want to say that it was easy, but their “freedom” manifestations were incomprehensible and have a circumstance of developing more conservative in the village where all the population forms a public opinion, where all are integrated in the village community. The members of this family, young enough, hardly after the winter ended, started to attend stoically the new “bar”, consuming more and more alcohol of an uncertain quality. You could not figure out who is more avid of drinking, the husband or the wife. People motivate their drinking through: the hard life they carry, the adversities they have been through, but for sure they started drinking for pleasure, in the end getting to dehumanize themselves totally.

Just like this, these people started to drink, and now the drink is not for free, to obtain, having no job, they started to sell anything from the house for a glass of vodka. How much they have consumed, nobody knows, but those that have met them adjudged their state with the epithet of: “they are flagstone”, “as a gad”, “out of one’s sense” and other combinations not very complimentary at their address. But most of them expressed that: “they were drinking until losing their disgrace”. Such as, they tried and they gut at home. Getting inside, after the party, it seemed their hungers came out. For their household to be maintained they would have needed one more person. They were very devotee after drinking that they did not even take care of their intimate hygiene. At this “step” that human kind long ago left behind, you can put the smell of drinking and the dental imperfections for which they had no time and any money. The drink doesn’t grow the man’s potency and other atrocities reminded in here, made this male character, although he wanted a sexual contact with his wife, unable of virility. Not being potent. He was frightened of this situation, truly slighting for a man. It was driving him crazy. He could not accomplish what he is, what he was being through birth … a man. In this unbearable situation, a diabolic thought crossed through the alcohol’s steam: “If I’m not capable of making love it’s because of my wife!” So, he started asking his wife to “offer” any kinds of “postures” each one abnormal than the other with the purpose of stimulating him sexually. So, neither his wife nor the “postures” could get him out from this state of alcoholic impotence; a demonic anger possessed him, anger which he justifies as: “his wife generated, being unable to make her self sexy”. What really hurt him was that she, even in the state she was in could have lain down with any man but not him. With a blind madness, motivated by the fact that he was the MAN, but now he wasn’t anywhere the man that once has been, in this state of inability he found enough strength to molest his wife, once lover. In her affected state, the power of reacting was helpless and she was even more undressed then before. Her shapes, the shapes of the woman’s body he once loved, that once gave him pleasure, others then now, pleasures that he was not capable of gaining, fact that drove him crazy, changing even his last judgments in animal instincts, jumping over her and beating her unconsciously. Laying down there, was a lethargic body, crippled by an animal that could not conceive being below this point of view, that he is not capable of a natural thing, that drinking annihilates him in everything.